Get Back On Your Horse
by electric dreams
Summary: Kel is back at the palace after New Hope is destroyed. Will her friends be able to get her back on her feet? Set after Lady Knight Oneshot. Kel/Seaver.


**Get Back On Your Horse**

All Kel wanted was to bury herself in her nice, warm blankets once more. Unfortunately her training took over, so instead she found herself rising and struggling into some practise clothes. Today it was Seaver who stood outside her door, grinning.

After Lord Wyldon's forceful suggestion that she take some time off after what happened at New Hope, Kel had drifted into a state of indifference. The nightmares no longer plagued her sleep, yet she couldn't quite find the motivation to start afresh.

That was why Seaver was now standing outside her door, looking smug, holding a practise staff. Every day for however long she had been back at the Palace—the days and nights had started to melt into each other—one of her friends had woken her by means of a furious door-pounding, eager to beat and bruise her poor body in some sort of attempt to reawaken the old Kel.

"Why is it," Kel muttered as she grabbed her staff and pushed past Seaver, "that you all delight in torturing me so?"

"Delight?" said Seaver, still grinning, "Whatever makes you think we delight in beating you to a lumpy pulp?" With that, he set off down the corridor. Following him wearily, Kel swore she could hear him whistling.

*

The practise courts were empty except for a lone page butchering a straw dummy with a practise sword. Kel watched him for a moment—his grip was all wrong—before turning back to the man standing before her. She hefted her staff, trying to find her own grip, but it didn't feel as natural as it once had. She hoped her desperation wasn't written across her forehead.

Seaver was already in position, legs braced and ready for her to attack. He let out a silent sigh, which rather annoyed Kel—she hadn't _asked_ her friends to do this—but stopped herself from saying so. She needed help, she could recognise that. Losing friends at a time like this wouldn't make things better.

When Seaver came over to her and firmly moved her hands into place along her staff, she decided that she _would_ try and get better.

"Ready?"

Kel nodded, bracing herself. Then, she lunged forwards to strike at Seaver's head. He blocked easily, swinging his staff up between them, resulting in a loud _crack_. Trying to keep a rhythm going, Kel immediately retracted her staff and jabbed it at his ribcage. Once again, Seaver blocked it.

They kept this up for a while, Kel striking and Seaver defending, the familiar _one, two, three_ resonating in her head. When she could feel the sweat dripping down her back, she motioned to Seaver to stop. Rolling her shoulders and doing a few stretches, she could feel her muscles starting to burn, muscles she hadn't used in a long while. Seaver wiped some sweat from his forehead with his shirt sleeve, his feathery hair sticking up awkwardly. The drill obviously hadn't been as hard on him as it had been on her.

"Not bad," he said, leaning on his staff. Kel felt that twinge of annoyance again, but managed to smother it. He was right; she still had a long way to go.

"Right, well, thanks Seaver." She walked over and clapped him on the shoulder. Her palms felt sticky with sweat. "I think it's time for a bath. I'll see you later."

Later, when she was soaking in a warm bath, muscles tight and sore, she finally allowed herself to let go. She had been holding on to the dead of New Hope for so long, and today had been her first step to moving on. Her sense of accomplishment was small, but with the help of her friends, she would become a better knight than she had been before.

*

The next day, Kel made the effort to get out of bed and wash her face before one of her friends tried to break down her door again. By the time someone was hammering on her door, she was dressed, with staff in hand, and feeling somewhat ready for another day.

The hammering continued as she strode over to her door.

"Alright, alright, you'll wake my neighbours with your noise! Who is it today—"

The sight of Seaver standing before her once more slightly unnerved her at first, but when he smiled—well, his smile was actually more like a grin—she found her own mouth wanting to form a smile in return.

"Ready?"

"Yes, but..." She locked her door and they began trudging down to the practise courts. "Why is it you again? I mean, I don't mind, but usually..."

"Oh, well, most of the others are busy, on patrols, or whatever," Seaver explained, "But I'm stuck here for a while because my younger sister's getting presented to the Queen soon. She wants to be a Rider."

"And Neal?" She hadn't seen her best friend for almost a year.

They had come to a halt outside the practise courts. Seaver looked uncomfortable. "He's still at New Hope, with Merric. Wyldon's told them to rebuild."

The news shocked Kel, though she didn't know why she shouldn't have expected it. Did she think that they would have waited for her to recover? She cursed herself for becoming so selfish in her misery.

Seaver's coal-black eyes softened, and he wrapped one arm around her shoulders. He had grown taller, something she hadn't really noticed the other day. She could also feel the muscle shifting beneath his shirt. "Don't feel bad, Kel," he said kindly, "You've had a hard time of it in the past few years."

Kel exhaled harshly. "That's no excuse. Neal and Merric were there when it happened, and they're still there now. I should be helping them rebuild New Hope."

"Well there's no use beating yourself up about it," Seaver said stubbornly, leading them onto an empty practise court, "you can beat me up instead." He grinned again, sliding smoothly into a defensive position, staff held out before him. Kel got into her offensive stance opposite from him. There was no point arguing when he was like this.

They got into the rhythm straight away this time, but Kel's movements were feeling forced. After finding out about what was going on at New Hope, she didn't have the energy to make a proper effort. Seaver was obviously losing patience.

"Kel," he began, "you really are like a lump. There's no...fluidity to your movements. I feel like I'm being attacked by a tree."

"I know, I just—"

"I don't want to hear excuses, let's just keep going. Relax a bit, okay?"

She nodded, softening her grip on the staff.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

Seaver stopped her again. Kel was getting frustrated, and even though she had her Yamani face on, she could feel it cracking. Seaver walked over until he was standing barely a hand's width away. Kel tried breathing deeply to calm herself.

"Kel," he said, face soft and serious, "I'm trying to help you. Your staff work is nearly the same as it was before, but the only thing that's holding you back is this...stiffness. What happened to that smooth Yamani style?"

She didn't say anything. If she opened her mouth, she was afraid that her mask would slip and everything—New Hope—would come crashing down around her once more.

He could see that she was having trouble. "Alright," he said, forehead crinkled in thought, "I want you to...think of something light."

_Paper. Leaves. Birds? Nari, Crown—Sparrows..._

"Feathers?" she said.

Seaver nodded. "Yes, good. Feathers. Think of how light feathers are, they...float on the breeze—"

His voice was oddly soothing, and she could feel her muscles relaxing. _Think of feathers. Light._ She barely noticed his grip on her elbow.

"—just imagine when you're fighting, you're moving smoothly into each position. When you move your feet, you're floating—"

They were very close now. He directed her through the movements for each position, but she was hardly listening to what he was saying. All of her attention was focused on her movements.

"Exactly, just relax and flow through the..."

She hadn't been paying enough attention to notice when he stopped talking, but a moment later, when he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against hers, she definitely noticed.

There was nothing desperate in his kiss; it was slow, soft, and measured. Pressed up against his strong chest, her thoughts began to get fuzzy around the edges, and all she could do was kiss him back. His hands held her close; hers were exploring his chest and ended up at the base of his neck, twisted in his hair dark hair.

The practise courts were silent but for their breathing. For the first time since New Hope, she felt something.

*

The decision to have a morning bath was a bad one, in hindsight. Kel had ended up sitting in the tub longer than expected, until the water had turned cold and she had goosebumps all up her arms. She couldn't keep her thoughts focused for long; since yesterday, the only thing on her mind was Seaver.

Drying herself off and getting dressed, she wondered if it would be awkward to see him today. How would he react? She did a few stretches and slowly worked her way through a pattern dance with her practise glaive to calm herself. Everything was starting to get easier. If she just put her mind to it, she would be back at New Hope in no time at all.

It was soon midmorning, and Seaver hadn't come and pounded on her door yet. This made her a little anxious for a moment, before she took control of herself. She didn't need to rely on her friends any longer to get her back in shape; she could train by herself.

Kel walked to the practise courts where she and her friends had been training for the last few days. Seaver wasn't there. The courts were empty, and looking at the staff in her hand, Kel realised she couldn't quite train by herself with the staff. She needed real people for that. Propping her staff up against a wall, she walked aimlessly for a while, getting used to stretching her legs and breathing.

She found herself heading in the direction of the stables. Shame washed over her as she realised how long she had been neglecting her horses for. Peachblossom would have a lot to say to her about that, she was certain. Bribery being one of the best ways to appeal to the better nature of her mean-spirited horse, she took a detour back past the kitchen wing, emerging with plenty of apples for both Peachblossom and Hoshi.

Stefan the groomsman was absent when she arrived at the stables, which she was thankful for. Begging for forgiveness from a horse would be embarrassing, though she knew that Stefan would not really think it all that odd. Walking along the stalls, Kel breathed in the unique aroma of the stables: horses, saddle oils, hay—she hadn't realised how much she had missed it. It was a good thing that her friends had managed to move her from her slump, she needed to get back to where she belonged. The sudden longing for a Tournament overcame her then, and she silently promised herself that when the next one was held in Tortall, she would be ready.

Hoshi, at least, was glad to see her. Well, she thought so in any case: the horse that was a gift from the former Knight-master was a sleepy and pleasant creature, slow to anger, unlike her other mount. She gave Hoshi an apple and petted her for a moment, feeling Peachblossom's disapproving gaze on her the whole time.

"Oh, alright," she told him, "you don't have to stare at me so." Peachblossom leaned towards her and helped himself to an apple, giving her a look which she translated to mean _this doesn't mean I forgive you_. She opened the stall and stepped up close to her horse, putting her arms around his neck in a hug. "You don't fool me, you big softy!" she whispered near his ear. He gave no sign of having heard her, but she knew that all was well between them once again.

She gave Peachblossom another apple before moving to Hoshi's stall to give her a brush down. The feeling of horseflesh under her hands felt so familiar and wonderful. When she saw that Peachblossom had finished his meal and was watching them, she fed her last apple to Hoshi.

"Well, old boy? Fancy a ride?" she smiled.

*

Having a lance in her hand again after such a long time was like being reunited with an old friend. The first few times she thundered down the lane astride Peachblossom, she'd missed the centre of the target completely, but soon after that she was back to her old standard of hitting dead centre every time. Jousting had been such a big part of her life during her time as a Squire and her first few years as a Knight; it was good to be back in the saddle again.

The light was beginning to fade. She hadn't intended to stay out all afternoon. Allowing herself one more run at the dummy before heading back, she turned Peachblossom and settled her lance in position.

"_Charge_," she whispered to her steed.

This feeling—as if she were unstoppable, unbreakable, nothing out there but her and Peachblossom—was what she loved about jousting. She'd never considered herself power-hungry, despite being a commander, but when she was astride her horse and plummeting down the track, the foremost thought in her mind was that nothing beat this feeling of absolute power and control.

She walked Peachblossom back to the stables, unsaddled him, and brushed him down while in a happy kind of daze. She was finally feeling like she was on top of things.

Her good mood was only altered by the sight that met her when she returned to her room: a dark haired man pacing back and forth in front of her door.

"Kel." He strode towards her, smiling. It was not his usual confident grin though; if Kel had to describe it, she would have said that he was shy. It was different seeing that kind of expression on a man. Not that she didn't like it.

"Seaver," she said, "when you didn't come this morning, I wasn't sure..."

"Wait." He held up a hand. "I meant to tell you, I swear, but after what happened yesterday—"

Kel could feel the dismay welling up inside her chest. Did he regret their kiss?

"—I just...forgot. I was kind of distracted," he smiled mischievously, and Kel's pulse quickened. He moved even closer to her, taking one of her hands in his.

"I—wait, forgot what?" she asked him. He was being rather confusing about the whole thing. Not that it really mattered, when she was so close that she could feel the heat radiating from his body.

"Oh, it was my sister's presentation to the court yesterday. Do you remember I was telling you about it a few days ago? I was going to tell you yesterday, but like I said, I had something else on my mind..." He looked down at her then, with a look of hunger on his face, and Kel couldn't say a word.

The moment stretched into silence.

"Well," he said casually, "how's your staff work coming along?"

"My staff work—you're asking me about my staff work, _now?_" she said incredulously. "What about, well, you know..." She looked at him questioningly.

He grinned down at her. "About what?"

He was teasing her, she was sure of it. Her Yamani training helped her to keep both a smile and a scowl from showing on her face. He just continued to look at her, with his charming dark eyes and grin; he wanted her to say it.

She opened her mouth once, but couldn't force anything out. When he just stood there, still smiling but saying nothing, the determined part of her showed itself.

Grabbing one strong arm in her left hand and the back of his neck in the other, she leaned forward, pulling his mouth to hers. He was caught unaware by it, but soon pulled her closer into his arms, deepening the kiss. This time it was more urgent—more passionate—than before, his grip on her tighter, all of her senses were lit on fire.

When Seaver broke the kiss to hold her against his chest, lips touching her hair, Kel's head felt light and airy—and she felt unbelievably happy. She felt, almost, as light as a feather.


End file.
